RICHARD THE THIRD’S HUMP
You can step off the train at
Penrith,
And the first thing that you
see might be
The ruins of Strickland’s
Tower--
Or the McDonalds’ golden
arches besieging
The hungry ghosts in the
castle’s keep,
Urging them to lay down their
shields,
And get in line for a Happy
Meal
Of flesh they need not see
dismembered.
O Stalwart bastion against
the Scottish raids!
The roots of bracken,
feckless feet of tourists
Disintegrate the sandstone
into red dust
That swirls about the
advertising campaign
Squatting heavily upon our
shoulders,
Like the hump of Richard the
Third--
Leaving us to rehearse that
role,
And exit the scene
tragically.